We all know that children experience a whirlwind of emotions—sometimes all at once! Whether it's the "butterfly bellies" of excitement and nervousness or the fiery feelings of anger, helping kids understand and manage these emotions is an essential part of their growth. For children ages 6-10, this stage is all about learning how to navigate the ups and downs of big emotions, which can sometimes feel overwhelming. Fortunately, teaching self-regulation strategies and problem-solving skills can empower kids to handle intense feelings with confidence.
Here are 5 steps and some helpful activities to support children in recognizing, understanding, and working through those big emotions. Helping children turn moments of frustration or nervousness into valuable learning experiences.
1. Identify Feelings: Recognizing Body signals and Big Emotions
The first step in problem-solving for emotions is recognizing physical sensations and naming the feelings. Kids are more likely to respond calmly if they can label what’s happening inside them. This involves exploring how our body feels when big emotions arise. One way to do this is to point out what you observe about your child's physical response and ask questions to facilitate exploration. For example: "I see you’re clenching your fists and breathing fast—does it feel like you’re getting angry? Or maybe you’re feeling nervous, like having butterflies in your belly?"
Some activities to try:
Feelings Charades
Write down different emotions (excited, scared, angry, etc.) on pieces of paper and place them in a bowl. Have children pick one and act it out without words, using only facial expressions and body language.
Goal: This is a fun way to explore how emotions look and feel, while also building empathy as they think about how others express emotions.
Tip: After each round, ask them where they might feel that emotion in their body, like butterflies in their stomach for nervousness.
Feelings Art
Provide paper and coloring materials and ask children to draw what they feel inside their body when they’re happy, angry, nervous, or sad. Encourage them to use colors and shapes that match their feelings.
Goal: Drawing is a great way for kids to visually express their emotions and explore what they feel physically, making it easier for them to recognize signals in the future.
Tip: Draw an outline of the body and ask children to use colors and symbols to show where and how different emotions feel in their body.
Feelings Mirror Game
Stand in front of a mirror with and make faces that express different emotions—happy, sad, angry, nervous, etc. Have children mimic your expression and guess what emotion it represents.
Goal: This game helps kids connect facial expressions and body language with feelings, encouraging self-awareness.
Tip: Discuss how these emotions feel in the body. For example, “When you feel angry, your face might look like this, and you may also feel heat in your chest or tension in your fists.”
2. Pause and Breathe: Taking a Moment to Calm
When kids experience strong emotions, their brains are in “reaction mode” instead of “problem-solving mode.” To help them return to a calm state, encourage a quick break with deep breathing or a quiet pause. Simple breathing exercises, like “balloon breathing” (pretending to blow up a balloon by taking deep breaths), can work wonders in helping kids feel grounded.
You might say, "Let’s take three deep breaths together and see if we can help those butterflies calm down." Once they’ve taken a moment, they’re more likely to think clearly and work through their feelings.
3. Understand Triggers- Identify the Problem
For kids to problem-solve effectively, they first need to understand their triggers and identify what the problem is. If a child is feeling scared, angry, or overexcited, it may be helpful to ask them questions to uncover what’s causing the intense feeling.
"What do you think is making you feel this way?"
"What do you wish would change right now?"
This step is all about breaking down the emotion into smaller parts, so it feels more manageable. It also teaches kids that emotions are responses to specific situations, and by identifying the triggers, they can start to find solutions. For example, “It sounds like you’re feeling nervous because you have to present in front of the class. Let’s figure out what we can do to help you feel more confident.”
4. Practice Problem-Solving: Brainstorm Solutions, Reflect, and Learn
Once the problem is clear, it’s time to brainstorm solutions. With younger kids, help guide their brainstorming by suggesting ideas. Encourage them to think of ways they could either solve the problem directly or soothe themselves.
For example:
If they’re feeling scared, they could try holding a comforting object or picturing a “happy place.”
If they’re angry, they might count to ten, squeeze a pillow, or go for a walk to release tension.
If they’re overexcited, they could try jumping up and down or doing a quick “shake it out” dance.
These actions help children see that there are always options, and they can choose positive ways to respond to big feelings. This builds both confidence and independence.
After the moment has passed, talk with your child about what worked and what didn’t. Reflection is a key part of building problem-solving skills because it helps kids learn from their experiences and adjust their strategies for the future.
Ask questions like:
"What helped you feel better?"
"What would you do differently next time?"
"Did those butterflies go away? What helped?"
This reflection helps kids recognize their own resilience and develop confidence in their ability to handle big feelings in the future.
5. Use Positive Self-Talk: Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem
Positive self-talk is like giving kids an extra set of wings to handle intense emotions. Help them develop phrases they can say to themselves when they feel overwhelmed, like:
“I can handle this!”
“It’s okay to feel nervous. I can take deep breaths.”
“I’m brave and strong, just like a butterfly!”
Creating a "Positive Thoughts Book" (like a journal where they can write or draw things that make them feel good) can be a great tool here. They can add to it whenever they need a reminder of their strengths, which can help them feel more equipped to handle tough emotions.
Turning "Butterfly Bellies" into Growth Moments
Helping kids navigate big emotions with problem-solving skills isn’t just about solving the immediate problem. It’s about teaching them that they have the power to manage how they feel, no matter the situation. By practicing these steps—identifying feelings, calming down, identifying triggers and problems, problem-solving, and using positive self-talk—children can learn to transform intense emotions into growth moments.
Remember, the goal isn’t to eliminate butterfly bellies and big feelings but to teach kids how to fly alongside them. With the right tools and a supportive hand, those butterfly bellies can become a source of strength, guiding kids to soar confidently through whatever challenges come their way.
Check out The Butterfly Bellies Self-Regulation Series at All Products | Tfdlit Com for more activities and resources to teach self-regulation strategies and problem-solving skills.
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