I am no stranger to social anxiety. Ever since I can remember, doing things like going to school or a party has literally made me sick with anxiety. When my kids started team sports and I saw them having similar emotional and physical reactions, I felt intense guilt; Did I teach them this reaction, or did I pass it to them genetically? Either way, I felt responsible and determined to help my kids cope with these feelings.
Meet the Team, Penelope’s New Team Part 1, addresses that moment when excitement turns to anxiety or panic. Many of us are familiar with that feeling of excitement to start something new but when faced with the actual event (and large groups of people), anxiety or panic sets in. This story provides a basic understanding of these feelings and strategies to work through them.
Here is the framework I used to create this story:
First, let’s reframe how we understand the feelings of anxiety and panic.
It is ok to feel feelings of anxiety. The physical response in our body is uncomfortable for a reason and is meant to help us stay safe, not to hurt us. Feelings like fear and anxiety offer us a reminder to check for safety and examine our surroundings, our thoughts, and our actions.
Second, let’s calm the physical response of anxiety and panic.
One way to do this is to visualize our anxiety or panic as a physical object, separate from ourselves, like an alarm. Once we can separate from the feeling, it becomes easier to calm our mind and body. We do not have to make the feeling go away. Instead, we can exist with the feeling, and we can evaluate the warning our body is giving us.
Third, let’s identify and challenge the thoughts that led to feelings of anxiety and panic.
When we are consumed with panic, we aren’t aware of the thoughts that are driving the feeling. Once we calm our physical response, we can take a moment to evaluate exactly what we are anxious about.
This is when we can explore our “what if” thoughts. What are we worried will happen? How likely is this to happen? If this happens, what can I do to stay safe? What else could happen that would be positive?
Lastly, let’s shift our thinking.
Our thoughts are fleeting. We get to choose which thoughts we agree with, which thoughts we want to focus on, and which thoughts we want to let go of.
We can replace the thoughts that have led to panic with more helpful thoughts. We can feel confident that we are prepared to handle any “what ifs” and we can choose to focus on what could go well. This shift in thinking does not have to be drastic, but even a small shift can have a huge impact on how we feel and what we do.
I have had the opportunity to learn so much about mental wellness through my education and career as a counselor and my own experience. Writing this series has allowed me to personally evaluate the effectiveness of the tools and strategies I have learned, apply the skills to my own life, and role model skills for my children that I want them to learn. This process has not been easy, and honestly, will always be a work in progress but I think we are off to a good start. I only hope this story can be just as helpful for other children and families with similar challenges.
You can check out Meet the Team, Penelope's New Team Part 1 on Amazon.
Also in the Series: Popper and the Pickleberrys (3 book series) Kindle Edition (amazon.com)
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