Understanding our triggers is a critical step in self-regulation practices. By exploring and understanding our emotional triggers, we gain the opportunity to prevent certain triggers, challenge unhelpful trigger responses, and control our thoughts and actions.
This post will explore what triggers are, the trigger response, how to identify triggers, and provide practical strategies for helping children navigate challenging experiences.
What are Triggers?
Triggers are any event or experience that can evoke strong emotional responses. Triggers may be something we see, hear, feel, smell, or taste. They may be something we do, think, or say, or something someone else does or says. We may have one trigger, or a combination of triggers that lead to big feelings.
The Trigger Experience
The Trigger experience includes the events or objects that trigger big feelings. Our triggers are based on our unique preferences and experiences, so everyone may have a different response to the same trigger experience.
When we have a negative experience, it can be hard to let go of the intense emotions and thoughts that were triggered. We may come to associate something from that experience with those negative emotions and thoughts, which becomes a trigger. Every time we experience that trigger in the future; we are brought back to that painful time.
The Trigger Response
The Trigger response is anything we think, feel, and do in response to a trigger or a combination of triggers.
Fortunately, we have some control over our trigger response. With practice, we can control our physical response as well as what we think and how we act in response to emotional triggers.
It's important to keep an open mind about our triggers. With the passage of time and endless new experiences, our response to various triggers is always subject to change.
Identifying Triggers
We can identify our own triggers and help children do the same by trying these strategies:
Observe Behavior: Pay attention to intense emotions and dysregulated behavior. Are there any patterns or situations that may trigger these big feelings?
Talk: Openly discuss feelings and triggering experiences. Ask questions to learn what triggers lead to big feelings and why. Acknowledge and validate past experiences that have led to emotional triggers.
Journal: Keep track of dysregulated moments and what was happening at the time to identify patters, trends, and potential triggers.
Find Hidden Triggers: Sometimes our emotional triggers aren't so obvious and we my have to dig a little to get to the underlying triggers.
For example, doing homework after school may seem to trigger an emotional outburst every day after school. But with a little digging, feeling hungry and tired after a long day at school were hidden triggers. Fortunately, these are easy triggers to prevent with a break and a snack.
Trigger Prevention
Is there anything that can be done to prevent a trigger experience?
This is tricky because it can be counterproductive to avoid triggering experiences. By avoiding, we may hold ourselves back or miss other great experiences.
On the other hand, some triggering experiences may be helpful to prevent. For example, if loud noises are a trigger, we can prevent this experience with headphones or ear plugs in noisy places.
Challenging The Trigger Response
It's easy to get stuck in a routine response to certain triggers, but sometimes that trigger response is no longer appropriate or helpful.
For example, imagine you tripped over a cone at soccer practice and felt humiliated.
Now, everytime you see those orange cones, you feel flooded with embarassment again.
You avoid the cones at all costs and sometimes lose the ball as a result.
Now that this trigger response is causing a problem, it’s time to challenge.
The cones are bright orange and easy to see.
As long as you see the cones, you can easily jump over them.
Now that you have had this experience, you will likely pay better attention and not trip again.
Even if you do trip again, does it really matter? Does anyone even remember that happened? (Probably not)
Controlling the Trigger Response
Even when things feel out of control, we can control our response to triggers by:
Using calming strategies to control our physical response to triggers.
Using self-talk to control our cognitive response to triggers.
Using mindfulness strategies to control our actions.
Adults can teach children valuable self-regulation skills by sharing their experiences and how they were able to stay in control of their own trigger response.
Strategies to Help Children Manage Emotional Triggers
Validate Feelings: Let children know that their emotions are valid and understandable. Avoid dismissing or minimizing feelings.
Create a Safe Space: Provide a supportive and understanding environment where children feel comfortable expressing big feelings.
Teach Coping Skills: Share healthy coping skills, such as deep breathing and calming strategies, mindfulness exercises, and positive self-talk.
Communicate Interpersonal Triggers: Show children ways to effectively communicate with
others about their triggers using I feel statements and respectfully stating their needs.
Practice Problem-Solving: Help children identify problems caused by their triggers and their trigger response and explore possible solutions. Focus on what is in their control to set them up for success.
Seek professional help: If you or your child are feeling overwhelmed by triggers or intense emotions, consider consulting a mental health professional. They can provide valuable support and guidance to help you discover your strengths and skills for self-regulation and mental wellness. Remember, it's ok to have big feelings and it's ok to ask for help when those big feelings feel hard to handle alone.
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